I heard of a new toilet training method today. A guy at church told David and me, "You should ask my wife what she did to toilet train our kids." Then he raised his eyebrows and chuckled. I was pretty intrigued just based off that info right there, so today at church I asked her what she did. She replied, "Before I say anything I have to ask: How do you feel about your kids crying? Like, a lot?" I was honest with her: it doesn't bother me at all. I mean, I don't want my kids hurt, but their tears (particularly fake ones) don't throw me into a tizzy. I usually comfort them calmly (except in the case of fake tears, when I just ignore them 'til they calm down). But I gotta say, after this, I was even more intrigued. Here's the method as she explained it (or as I understood her explanation--so it might actually be a little different):
This method is used by Health and Welfare Services to toilet train autistic children. You start by telling your kid that they'll be wearing big boy (or big girl) pants from now on, talking to them about using the toilet when they need to. You have them wear underwear from there on out. When they use the toilet, they get a reward, praise, lots of positive reinforcement. (Here's the tough love part, which is probably the crying part:) If they use their pants instead of the toilet, you talk to them about what happened, and you say, "Now we need to clean this up." You put them in the tub and wash them with a cold shower (not ice cold, but cold). You put them in clean clothes and then you have them stay in the bathroom until they use the toilet. When they use the toilet again, you give them a reward, praise and the positive reinforcement. Repeat as needed. The thing is, with this method is staying positive, even when your kid has an accident. You never make it sound like they are a bad kid, you just let them know that when they have an accident it has to be cleaned up. The cold water shower is not a punishment, but it is a consequence. Even after the child has been using the toilet for a long time, they might have an accident. At this point, you help them clean it up, but you don't do the cold water shower unless the accidents become really frequent, then you'd start the training over.
I'm not sure if I'm going to use this method or not. It sounds pretty effective, but I don't relish the part about letting my kids run around without diapers; it sounds messy. I guess that's something we're really aiming for though, letting the boys wear underpants and not having to buy diapers (it'll be like getting a huge raise when we no longer have that expense), but I'd rather they were a little better at using the toilet and not their pants before we give them that much freedom. So we'll see...
2 comments:
That sounds interesting. I have been thinking about training Ashlyn and how to do it. She poops anywhere from 2-6 times a day, I do not want to be cleaning that much poop up. I think if she was one of those kids who only poops every other day, I might give this way a chance, maybe with future kids.
Hmmm... sounds pretty harsh. Well, actually most of it sounds effective. I'm not sure about the leaving them in the bathroom until they use the toilet part. Since they just had an accident, it could be a couple of hours before they have to go again. It seems like they'd be locked up in the bathroom for an aweful long time. I do think going straight to underwear is a good idea. If they are wearing diapers (or even pull-ups), why not go in them? But if they are wearing underwear, they will see (or I guess I should say feel) the consequences of their actions. We didn't make much headway with Westley until I decided he was going to wear underwear all day, every day.
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